Blaming anything but yourself.
Avoiding our own issues
Quick to point fingers?
Blame game?
Victimhood.
Insecurity.
Shame.
Denial.
Why do we do this?
It’s normal, by the way.. But there’s a better way.. Keep reading.
It’s easy and takes little energy or effort to blame something or someone else. But, unfortunately, with most things, the easy way is what human nature follows.
Is it your default to blame others? If so, it’s easy to correct with help from a life coach and break the habit of blaming others.
Humans are naturally looking for the cause of something, it’s easy to find evidence outside of ourselves, but the imagination often creates that.
Common narratives or stories we create in our mind and ones I witness in new clients:
- Taking full responsibility is harder.
- It’s way easier to point fingers than work on ourselves.
- Reflecting on what happened and learning from it takes courage.
- Looking at why something happened and seeing that there’s something to learn or take away takes time and effort.
- Apologizing or cleaning up your mess is uncomfortable.
- Facing the music or consequences can be difficult, especially when you’ve not learned how to do it.
- Protecting one’s self without the knowledge of the pain it causes others.
- Deeply avoids any situation the blame could land on their shoulders.
- High expectations of self and others without any wiggle room.
- Perfectionist personality, so making a mistake means failure.
One of the top ten greatest fears is public speaking. Why?
Some fear public speaking over death, spiders, snakes, and heights.
Fear is the root cause of why this habit pattern is happening. Fear of criticism, fear of negative consequences, rejection, embarrassment, more than usual attention, fear of seeing your responsibility for what could have been avoided, fear of being judged. It’s believed that the audience is causing the fear, right? How is that possible?
People, places, things, situations, and circumstances don’t have the power to inject feelings of fear into someone. Not possible.
Fear of public speaking is fear-based thinking.
All the fears are created by thought. Imagining and visualizing the worst possible outcomes. We make our experience of life through thought alone.
By nature, we want a connection to others, and fear or judgment, and rejection are the ultimate death of our brains wiring. Our primordial roots have us programmed to fit in, be of value to the tribe, survive, and rejection is the ultimate curse. Public speaking leaves us feeling vulnerable, but as stated previously, that’s a story, a belief that we think creates that feeling that makes the physical sensation and behaviors.
For example, if you were to hit a pothole in the road and get a flat tire, the road is obviously poorly maintained, but you were traveling fast and not paying attention to the road hazards.
With over twenty-two years of insurance experience, you’re at fault.
If you hit the pothole and experience the inconvenience and expense of the tire and rim repair, would you be ranting and raging about what your taxes are spent on these days, or would you accept the part you played in it and be self-reflective to learn from your mistakes?
Passing blame onto others and things can really harm goodwill in any and all relationships you have, and likely no one is telling you. If you’re finding yourself with a tiny circle of friends, this might be one cause.
This is where coaching is gold!
A skilled coach will point out that you’re in a pattern holding you back from a more prosperous, fulfilling life. Working alongside you to shift your life to happier, more significant opportunities, more profound, meaningful relationships, success, and accomplishments.
Life is about growth, learning, and discovery. Taking a deep dive into how your mind, thoughts, and consciousness play a role in your life is incredibly powerful and can transform your life.