The Only Validation you Need is from Yourself.

Love Yourself - Hire a Life Coach for Support

Seeking validation is similar to thinking you need someone to tell you who you are or needing someone to tell you your worth. TELL YOURSELF!

Your relationship with yourself is the longest relationship you'll ever have; make it the best one.

We are tribal beings. We need, crave, and desire connection and belonging. There's a desire to belong, feel important, needed, and valued. When we feel a part of the tribe or group, it feeds a good feeling that can be addictive.

Isolation is a form of torture.

Feeling disconnected, different, weird, or not the same harms our mental health. Likewise, the opinions of other people can be deeply harmful.

A constant need to receive approval or validation from others gives our power away to outside factors, no less from other human beings that may not realize the impact on your mental health. Worded differently, everyone is consumed with their own life and may not know you're searching for approval, acceptance, words of affirmation, or a pat on the back. When you don't get what you're expecting, it could lower the goodwill in the relationship because your expectations are misunderstood. We can't control what others do or say.

What you can control is what thoughts you hang onto.

What feelings do you choose to live through, and how do you reward yourself?

The growing social platforms that feed the need for validation are undoubtedly harmful. The story or belief that someone is superior if they have a large following and have so many likes, comments, or social credit only creates a more profound, more harmful addiction to praise outside in. I have worked with clients consumed by the 1-2 negative comments on social media, entirely ignoring the 20-50 positive comments. So that one opinion or insult overrode all the affirmations. Sending them into a spiral of comparisonitis, embarrassment, shame, and depression-like symptoms.

When we lose ourselves, get lost, and operate from autopilot, we can get lost in need of society's approval and recognition and get confused seeking out other people's opinions over what we want, our values, principles, purpose, and meaning in our life.

Perhaps it's not society; maybe it's a parent, a spouse or a boss you seek validation from. Is this within your control? What if you get approval or words of affirmation? Then what, you'll want more? What if that person doesn't have the skills or understanding of how to provide positive feedback or validation, then what? Expecting someone to give you accolades creates a lot of pressure and stress that is purely manufactured by your thoughts (a form of overthinking). This is a heavy burden to carry and causes a breakdown in the goodwill or relationship.

What's important is how you think and feel about yourself.

It is what you have control over. So what's going to matter the most when you are 80 years old? Is it your social media following? Is it how many accolades you got from your friends and family? How many trophies have you won? Not likely, I ask this question of my clients, and no one yet has answered it this way. Of course, answers vary, but the common thread is having unforgettable memories and experiences, living life fully, and who's in their life that supports them.

Continue to work on seeing what matters, your relationship with yourself. Your self-esteem, what's important to you, what you want, how you want to feel, and what will matter the most at the end of your life.

Choose to live from the inside out rather than give your power away.

I have worked with many clients that didn't know they were giving their power away until I pointed it out; their language, their frustration, and their blocks are evident to me as a skilled, trained, and seasoned life coach, but until I pointed it out they were driven to prove they are needed and wanted for the wrong reasons. Get help if not from me, who can show you your blind spots. Coaching is incredibly valuable. I get coaching every Thursday.

Work with Katherine

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