Submitted Request..
This post is an answer to a submitted question. It aims to provide help and solutions to overcome the issue.
Podcast version: HERE
Quote: “Rejection is not fatal, it’s merely someone’s opinion.”
Adding to the quote:
It's important to remember that just because one person may not see your value or potential, it doesn't diminish who you are or what you have to offer. Rejection can be a tough pill to swallow, but it's all part of the journey towards success. It's a learning experience that can help you grow and become stronger. Your worth is not determined or defined by someone else's opinion.
Submitted Question:
“Advice on Dealing With Rejection?
A few weeks ago, a nice guy and I talked through text and FaceTime. He said he wanted to take me on a date, so we decided to go out that weekend. During the date, we had a lot of fun together. We laughed, joked, took videos and pictures, and enjoyed each other's company. Even though we had some differences in our lifestyles, he was a great guy and I felt a strong connection with him. After a few hours, he ended the date early and offered to get me an Uber home. I told him I got home safely, thanked him for the date, and sent him the pictures and videos we took. He didn't reply that day, but texted me the next morning. “I didn't feel a romantic connection during our date, but I enjoyed our conversations. Best of luck."
I was definitely disappointed it didn’t work out, but I guess you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, which is completely okay.
It’s been a few weeks since that, and today, I saw that on Instagram that he posted himself and another young woman who looked around my age with flowers (I assume he got those), and hugging / cuddling her with a caption along the lines of ‘best date’ or something like that. Of course, I am happy that he found his match! Though, it does sting a bit, I do have to admit. At first, I kept telling myself that maybe I did something wrong, maybe I should’ve worn something else on our date, maybe I should’ve done something different, said something different, but then I realized that sometimes, everything happens for a reason and it’s nobody’s fault. Regardless, I still feel pained because it always seems that others are often chosen over me, and I don’t feel that I’m worthy of genuine romantic love (I know that sounds a little overkill but I can’t help those thoughts from appearing sometimes). How does one get over this type of rejection, why do I feel so unworthy?”
My Response if we were in a coaching setting. Although without being able to ask questions, I may assume or use scenarios to fill in the gaps.
I can see how this can feel so confusing and painful.
What you are thinking and believing is creating the feelings of "sting", that you did something wrong, that you should have worn something else, done something different, pained, being passed over, not worthy, and rejected.
Thoughts are not real.
We feel thoughts we believe and become attached to.
Your brain and ego are working together to protect and help you, they mean well and this proves how smart you are, your mind is and ego are doing a great job!
Take a moment to express gratitude towards your brain for its incredible efforts in ensuring your well-being and safety. Remember that you are inherently valuable, worthy, deserving of all the good that comes your way, and that there is someone out there who will appreciate you for exactly who you are. Rest assured that you are a unique and irreplaceable individual, destined to find your match in due time. Trust in the process and have faith in yourself.
Giving him power to make you feel less than or rejected you're allowing someone else to dictate your self-worth and confidence. Basically he's become the master of your emotions and you're the puppet.
When one door closes another opens.
A lesson or reminder that even when things may not go as planned or expected, there is always the potential for new beginnings and fresh starts. Embracing this mindset empowers you to move on, move forward, and free up energy to find a better match. With each rejection, greater tenacity, grit, and resilience will surface. Instead of dwelling on what has been lost or missed, focus on the possibilities that lie ahead and be open to the new doors that may open along the way.
If we give something outside of ourselves the power to make us happy then it can also make you sad.
The example I like to use is the scale to weigh yourself, if you believe that when the scale goes down you are then happy and your day will be amazing, what happens when the scale goes up? It can’t go down forever!
Remember that you are capable of commanding how you feel about yourself and no one else should have that power over you.
As you navigate through your day, remember that the thoughts you choose to focus on have a direct impact on your emotions and overall well-being. By consciously selecting positive and empowering thoughts, you can nurture a sense of inner peace and security within yourself. Remind your brain and nervous system that you are in control and that you are on a journey towards finding a partner to share your life with. By doing so, you diminish the influence of negative self-talk and reclaim your personal power. Embrace this mindset as you move forward with confidence and clarity.
Stand tall and believe in yourself, because you are worthy and deserving of respect and love. Embrace your uniqueness and never let anyone diminish your shine. Remember, you are the master of your own happiness and no one else should have the authority to make you feel anything less than amazing.
I wish you all the best.
Please share this with anyone you believe would benefit from the insights. Post a comment, I read and reply to them all. Thank you in advance!
If you want to send a question, please send to hello@katherine-hood.com please include:
- A coachable question (something that addresses what's in your control, your thoughts, feelings or actions.)
- And context, explain a situation in the past, currently going through, or worries/concerns of the future, giving me some details on your thoughts and feelings about it.