Voices for Change

The struggle almost always originates from within ourselves, stemming from our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and stories we are buying into.

When confronted with challenges or obstacles, it can be confusing and appear that the source is something or many things coming at us from the outside.

The presence of struggle is NOT a sign of weakness. It's a smoke alarm, an alert system, a siren pointing to something that needs healing, repairing, and an upleveling of emotional intelligence. When we avoid, want to box up feelings, and throw away the key, this trigger will most definitely lay dormant and erupt like a volcano somewhere, sometime, causing even more damage, suffering, destruction, and chaos than if we had faced it head on.

It's important to acknowledge our struggles, confront them, and work through them in order to truly grow and evolve as individuals. Ignoring our emotions only leads to further pain…

What we think and believe about anything, problem or not is where how we feel about it comes from. Get super curious and identify your beliefs surrounding the "problem".

Ideally, having someone like me, someone who is impartial and unbiased, can be incredibly beneficial when it comes to addressing mental conflicts. A third party perspective can often provide insights that friends or family members may not be able to offer. By listening intently to the language surrounding the issue, I can help identify key phases, statement, triggers and patterns that are contributing to the conflict.

Another helpful approach is to engage in free-flow writing, where you express your deepest thoughts and feelings about the problem without any restrictions. By allowing your thoughts to flow freely, you may uncover underlying emotions or beliefs that have been buried or overlooked. Set it aside for a day and taking an objective review of…

By placing the blame on external factors, you are not acknowledging your own role in how you perceive and respond to certain situations.

It is important to recognize that you have the power to command your emotions and how you choose to react to different circumstances. Instead of pointing fingers, attempt to reflect on how you can take ownership of your feelings and actions, and work towards managing them in a more positive and constructive manner.

If reading this there's rejection, resistance, a feeling to not agree, that's something to be even more curious about. What's the positive intention behind the reaction of not standing in your own power and to continue to blame and complain about what other people say, think or do?

What if it's a protection? What if it's a way to brush what's needing healed or delt with off and it's leaving you emotionally dormant? You…

Are your emotions being driven by the present moment, or by old stories and fears replaying in your mind?

It's important to recognize the source of our emotions in order to better understand and address them.

Knowing where they come from and how to navigate them is essential for having a healthy relationship with them and create a life that's rooted in peace(insert your own positive wording).

Sometimes our reactions are based on past experiences (known or forgotten) that have shaped our beliefs and perceptions. We don't need to know what exactly created a trigger, as this can take years to sort out and usually ends up pinning the blame on someone. This is disempowering and keeps you stuck in a negative feeling. It's like a dog chasing its tail. Simply understanding that your brain has logged an occurrence or possibly years of patterns, and a belief is formed as…

One common conflict that many people struggle with is the battle between wanting to love and accept their body, while also wanting to indulge in whatever food and drink they desire. This inner conflict of "I love my body, BUT I will eat and drink what I want" can cause confusion and tension within ourselves. When we have conflicting desires like this, our brain and mind can become overwhelmed and unsure of which direction to take.

Our brain operate like old computers, needing clear and concise instructions to function properly. When we send mixed signals like "I want x but I want y too," it can lead to errors, glitches, or even a complete shutdown of our mental processes.

It's important to give our brains clear and specific instructions on what we want and need, leaving out any conflicting messages that may lead to confusion. Learning to resolve inner conflicts…

It's possible that the resistance you feel is actually a sign that you are on the brink of significant change and expansion.

When we lean in and get curious we are able to break through new barriers.

When we notice the resistance or negative feeling, we should see it as an inner voice, a protector attempting to keep us safe from the unknown. This takes the power or the grip out of the thought, reassuring that inner protector that this is indeed what we want, that it is safe, and that we are looking to move forward and grow.

Consider this time as an opportunity to push past the barrier of your comfort zone and explore new possibilities.

Embrace the discomfort, for it is often a precursor to breakthroughs and breakthroughs in personal development. Remember, growth rarely occurs within the confines of our comfort zones. So, perhaps this feeling of…

What sets these two groups apart is their thoughts, beliefs and attitude towards change and unpredictability. For those who think and belief a daily changes chaotic, they may struggle to cope, adapt and prefer routine and stability, likely would thrive on an assembly line with greater certainty and familiarity.

On the other hand, those who find it exciting, thrilling and maybe a rush may thrive on new challenges and opportunities for growth.

It ultimately comes down to individual's thoughts and what they are deeply believing.

Consider examining the underlying beliefs you hold about yourself or the situation that is causing your distress.

These beliefs will fuel your emotions and influence your reactions. By being aware of the underlying beliefs, and identifying and challenging these beliefs, you may be able to gain a new perspective and find ways to fuel the feelings you want to have.

In each session with different clients, I make a point to identify beliefs that they may not be aware of. To help raise awareness, I decided to include some common ones.

A belief is a subjective attitude that something is true, shaping how we perceive and interact with the world. Many of the beliefs that create suffering operate non-consciously, influencing thoughts, feelings, and actions without us even realizing it.

1. “I Need to Control Everything to Be Okay.”

The phrase "Get out of your own way" means that you're stopping yourself from moving forward by letting your thoughts, fears, or insecurities hold you back. It's like you're blocking yourself from reaching your goals.

To get out of your own way, a person may need to be conscious, recognize and challenge their limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, or self-sabotaging behaviors. This could involve practicing self-awareness, cultivating a growth mindset, seeking support from others(like me a coach), and taking proactive steps towards personal growth and development.

Our well-meaning friends and family may not point out our blind spots because they don't want to hurt our feelings. They agree to do it but don't follow through. In a comfortable relationship, most individuals don't want to rock the boat or cause tension. Isn't everyone just hyper-focused on themselves? On the opposite side, they tell you but it doesn't land (you may make meaning…

There are countless ways in which individuals can greatly improve their mental, emotional, and physical health. Notice how they have a sensory regulation component. We can become more conscious, awake, and feel ourselves when we activate one of our five senses for more than 3 seconds. (sight, smell, taste, hearing, feeling)

Below are 15 simple, low-cost (or free) activities that can greatly improve mental, emotional, and physical health any day of the week:

1. Take a Walk in Nature -Fresh air, movement, and natural surroundings reduce stress, boost mood, and improve heart health.

2. Practice Deep Breathing or Meditation -Even 5-10 minutes of deep breathing or mindfulness can lower anxiety, increase focus, and enhance relaxation.

3. Journal Your Thoughts & Gratitude -Writing down what’s on your mind or listing 3 things you’re grateful for can shift your mindset and boost positivity.

It is important to be conscious of who or what is influencing your emotional state, as giving away that power can have significant impacts on your well-being. Take a moment to reflect on whether it is a person, situation, or internal thought pattern that is dictating how you feel.

By recognizing and seeing what of these influence you the most, you can empower yourself to navigate your emotions in a more intentional and healthy way.

Remember, you have the ability to choose how you respond to external stimuli and ultimately hold the power to command your own emotional reactions.

Who or what are you allowing to hold sway over your emotions at this very moment?

If you're living a life where you're blaming people, places, things, situations, and circumstances for how you feel you're likely living a life that feels overwhelming, heavy, isolated, and uncertain... there's a whole different way…

Someone driving on ice and snow with confidence, knowing they have the proper skills to navigate safely through the treacherous conditions, without batting an eye lash?

And

Is someone absolutely terrified, skittish, and reactive, shaking with fear, anxiety, and a high level of tension and stress?

Pure thought. That is it. This applies to any situation or circumstance.

What was your immediate thought? What was your guess?

What if your frustration isn't solely a result of the circumstances you find yourself in, but rather a product of your own inner resistance to accepting and adapting to what is currently unfolding in your life?

Resistance is often deep thoughts that are in your non-conscious mind. We can hear it, if we slow down, get silent and ask ourselves insightful questions. The key is being open and willing to hear what you might not want to hear.

Resistance can manifest in many forms, such as procrastination, self-doubt, or fear of failure. By being open to exploring these underlying thoughts and emotions, we can begin to understand the root causes of our resistance.

Sometimes, our struggles and challenges can feel even more overwhelming when we resist them, rather than approaching them with a sense of openness and willingness to learn and grow from the experience.

By acknowledging and releasing our…

Reacting is a natural response that we all experience from time to time. Ultimately it's learning to slow down and respond instead of react.

By taking the time to reflect on our values, morals, and principles before responding to a situation, we are able to act in a way that aligns with our beliefs. This not only helps us avoid making mistakes it also prevents us from overriding our morals and principles.

It is through consciousness, self-awareness, and intentional actions that we can increase emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is a skill that will uplevel every aspect of your life.

By taking that pause and reflecting on how our values align with the situation at hand, we are able to make more thoughtful and intentional decisions. This not only benefits ourselves, but also those around us as…

 "You are making me angry", the focus is on blaming the other person for causing you to be anger, implying a direct cause-and-effect on you, injecting feelings of anger into you. (not at all possible unless you give them that power over you, and I bet you're doing this in other areas of your life)

"Right now I feel angry because I am not getting what I want" this statement takes a more introspective approach by acknowledging the individuals feelings and points to the real reason they are angry. This is ownership, this is taking responsibility for one's feelings by having the consciousness and willingness to be vulnerable and state what the real truth is. When doing this a person can start to see what's creating a negative experience in the moment and take action from what's within their control. Notice they are not blaming anyone. They are not complaining…

When it comes to interpreting someone's actions, it is important to consider all possible explanations before jumping to conclusions.

People's behavior can be influenced by a variety of factors, including their thoughts, feelings, past experiences, education, cultural differences, conditioning, beliefs, programming, rules, stories, judgments and the context in which the action took place.

It is possible that there could be another explanation for why someone acted a certain way, and differently than you'd act or behave, doesn't mean its wrong, worse, or bad, it's unique. It's very possible they are 2% correct. Being curious to what had them do what they did could open up new ways of doing things, and new insights.

It is important to approach the situation with an open mind and consider all possible perspectives. By being open to different interpretations, you will connect with others by having childlike wonderment and curiosity. Ask them to teach…

Are you taking the time to pause and reflect on the way you are reacting to life's ups and downs? (Even in the heat of the moment.)

It's important to consider if your responses are truly aligned with the reality of the situation or if they are being influenced by your current state of mind.(how much sleep you got the nights before, if you're hangry, if you have a headache, if you're grieving, if you're in pain, if you're upset about something)

By being mindful of your mindset and what if any power you have to nudge it in any direction it will impact your reactions, you can work towards approaching life with a clearer perspective and more balanced responses.

• Are you awake to life, or are you coasting on autopilot?

• How much of the days and weeks in the recent past do you recall?

When you feel stuck, it can be helpful to consider that the obstacle may not be external, but rather the way in which you are interpreting the situation(thoughts).

Sometimes our mind and perspective can greatly impact how we perceive challenges and setbacks. By shifting our thoughts and considering alternative interpretations, we may be able to see opportunities for growth and progress where we once saw roadblocks. Ultimately, the way we choose to interpret our circumstances can have a significant impact on our ability to overcome obstacles and move forward.

The story we tell ourselves about any challenge we face can have a significant impact on how we approach and overcome it. Our stories, thoughts, and beliefs are not very conscious or in other words heard by the author because they have likely been apart of your life for many years, it's like the white noise at the grocery store, just playing in the background.

Our internal narrative, or white noise can either empower us to push through obstacles or hold us back from reaching our full potential. It is important to reflect on whether the story we are telling ourselves is helping us by providing motivation, resilience, and a positive mindset, or if it is holding us back by fostering self-doubt, fear, and negativity.

Someone like me, a long-time trained coach who is super hyper-focused on the words and language people use because they hold a lot of value…

You’re at a coffee shop, the barista hands your order and says “Enjoy your day—it’s probably better than mine.” What’s your reply?

Love to read your thoughts, and I might add:  Celebrate your successes, no matter how big or small, and recognize the effort you put in to get to where you are today.

When you reflect on how you spend most of your time, does it align with who you truly want to be and what you want to contribute?