Voices for Change

The struggle almost always originates from within ourselves, stemming from our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and stories we are buying into.

When confronted with challenges or obstacles, it can be confusing and appear that the source is something or many things coming at us from the outside.

The presence of struggle is NOT a sign of weakness. It's a smoke alarm, an alert system, a siren pointing to something that needs healing, repairing, and an upleveling of emotional intelligence. When we avoid, want to box up feelings, and throw away the key, this trigger will most definitely lay dormant and erupt like a volcano somewhere, sometime, causing even more damage, suffering, destruction, and chaos than if we had faced it head on.

It's important to acknowledge our struggles, confront them, and work through them in order to truly grow and evolve as individuals. Ignoring our emotions only leads to further pain…

What we think and believe about anything, problem or not is where how we feel about it comes from. Get super curious and identify your beliefs surrounding the "problem".

Ideally, having someone like me, someone who is impartial and unbiased, can be incredibly beneficial when it comes to addressing mental conflicts. A third party perspective can often provide insights that friends or family members may not be able to offer. By listening intently to the language surrounding the issue, I can help identify key phases, statement, triggers and patterns that are contributing to the conflict.

Another helpful approach is to engage in free-flow writing, where you express your deepest thoughts and feelings about the problem without any restrictions. By allowing your thoughts to flow freely, you may uncover underlying emotions or beliefs that have been buried or overlooked. Set it aside for a day and taking an objective review of…

Building a strong love for yourself and life is important and can make your life better in many ways.

When you prioritize your own needs and set personal boundaries that honor and guard your mental, emotional and physical health, you are investing in your overall well-being.

When we place boulders in our schedule that honor and prioritize our needs first and foremost, and let the rest of life fall in the left over gaps, we show up with a full battery and bandwidth. We are able to give our best selves to those around us, rather than running on empty and feeling depleted, hoping that there will be time left in the day to do the things that recharge us. This belief is giving other people the best parts of you, and you're left with the scraps or leftovers.

By setting person boundaries(rules or in other words, parameters), we are…

All emotions are like clouds in the sky, they are consistently flowing in and out, floating by. Just as clouds come and go, emotions also come and go.

We have 40,000-80,000 thoughts a day, many are the same thoughts as the day before. We can't stop or control them, we can understand them greater and there's tremendous power felt as a result.

By becoming more aware of our thoughts and understanding them, we can begin to shift our thoughts, fueling the ones we want to create more of and create positive change in our lives as a result. This awareness allows us to harness the power within our thoughts and use them to our advantage. It is through this understanding that we can learn to train our brain to work for us rather than against us.

It's important to remember that emotions are temporary and not permanent.

We experience moments…

By placing the blame on external factors, you are not acknowledging your own role in how you perceive and respond to certain situations.

It is important to recognize that you have the power to command your emotions and how you choose to react to different circumstances. Instead of pointing fingers, attempt to reflect on how you can take ownership of your feelings and actions, and work towards managing them in a more positive and constructive manner.

If reading this there's rejection, resistance, a feeling to not agree, that's something to be even more curious about. What's the positive intention behind the reaction of not standing in your own power and to continue to blame and complain about what other people say, think or do?

What if it's a protection? What if it's a way to brush what's needing healed or delt with off and it's leaving you emotionally dormant? You…

As funny yet complex human beings, we have a tendency to spend a significant amount of time and energy avoiding, suppressing, numbing out from and denying our emotions. We often try to escape from uncomfortable feelings by distracting ourselves with activities, substances, or even by pretending that everything is fine.

However, avoiding our emotions only leads to more inner turmoil and can prevent us from truly understanding ourselves and finding peace.

It is important to acknowledge and process our emotions in order to heal and grow as individuals. situations, people, or things that trigger us emotionally. This can be a natural response to protect ourselves from discomfort or pain. However, by constantly avoiding these triggers, we may find ourselves stuck in a cycle of fear and limitation.

This quote highlights the importance of perception and mindset in addressing challenges.

Often, our perception of a situation as a problem can be the biggest obstacle to finding a solution. By being open to seeing things from more than one angle, shifting our perspective, and embracing a more positive and proactive mindset, we can overcome obstacles more effectively and approach challenges with a sense of hope and possibility.

It is essential to recognize that sometimes what we perceive as problems are simply opportunities for learning and development. When we hit a wall or a sticky spot, it's a signal that's all. I love it when I find these because I know it's time to deepen my consciousness and look for the way through. Leaning in, versus running, hiding, suppressing, numbing out, avoiding, or just as bad, getting angry and resisting.

By getting curious we can unlock new doors and broaden…

Are your emotions being driven by the present moment, or by old stories and fears replaying in your mind?

It's important to recognize the source of our emotions in order to better understand and address them.

Knowing where they come from and how to navigate them is essential for having a healthy relationship with them and create a life that's rooted in peace(insert your own positive wording).

Sometimes our reactions are based on past experiences (known or forgotten) that have shaped our beliefs and perceptions. We don't need to know what exactly created a trigger, as this can take years to sort out and usually ends up pinning the blame on someone. This is disempowering and keeps you stuck in a negative feeling. It's like a dog chasing its tail. Simply understanding that your brain has logged an occurrence or possibly years of patterns, and a belief is formed as…

If your best friend eats healthy, you are 5x more likely to eat healthily. Choose your friends wisely

If your closest friends exercise regularly, you are significantly more likely to stay active as well. Surround yourself with people who prioritize health!

If the people around you have a growth mindset, you’ll be more inclined to embrace challenges and personal development. Successful achieving individuals love to share what they are learning and it becomes a draw to learn and share as well.

If you surround yourself with a social circle that tends to gossip, blame and complain on a regular basis, it is highly probable that you will be drawn into participating in the same negative behavior.

People with financially responsible friends tend to develop better money habits and avoid unnecessary debt. Are your friends helping or hurting your financial future?

It's possible that the resistance you feel is actually a sign that you are on the brink of significant change and expansion.

When we lean in and get curious we are able to break through new barriers.

When we notice the resistance or negative feeling, we should see it as an inner voice, a protector attempting to keep us safe from the unknown. This takes the power or the grip out of the thought, reassuring that inner protector that this is indeed what we want, that it is safe, and that we are looking to move forward and grow.

Consider this time as an opportunity to push past the barrier of your comfort zone and explore new possibilities.

Embrace the discomfort, for it is often a precursor to breakthroughs and breakthroughs in personal development. Remember, growth rarely occurs within the confines of our comfort zones. So, perhaps this feeling of…

Responding and reacting are two separate actions that can greatly influence our relationships and overall mental, emotional and physical health.

Responding involves taking the time to consider a situation, gathering information, and then choosing the best course of action based on that information and considering your own personal values, morals, principles, and beliefs. It requires thoughtful reflection and the ability to weigh the consequences of your actions.

Responding allows for a more intentional and thoughtful approach to handling any given situation, rather than reacting impulsively. By responding instead of reacting, we can often make more informed decisions and act in a way that aligns with our values and goals. Leaving the situation with self-confidence and pride, knowing that what was said, done, or what behaviors were exhibited were in your own best interest. this does require thoughtfulness and self-awareness.

Some react when I point this out as time consuming and…

What sets these two groups apart is their thoughts, beliefs and attitude towards change and unpredictability. For those who think and belief a daily changes chaotic, they may struggle to cope, adapt and prefer routine and stability, likely would thrive on an assembly line with greater certainty and familiarity.

On the other hand, those who find it exciting, thrilling and maybe a rush may thrive on new challenges and opportunities for growth.

It ultimately comes down to individual's thoughts and what they are deeply believing.

Consider examining the underlying beliefs you hold about yourself or the situation that is causing your distress.

These beliefs will fuel your emotions and influence your reactions. By being aware of the underlying beliefs, and identifying and challenging these beliefs, you may be able to gain a new perspective and find ways to fuel the feelings you want to have.

In each session with different clients, I make a point to identify beliefs that they may not be aware of. To help raise awareness, I decided to include some common ones.

A belief is a subjective attitude that something is true, shaping how we perceive and interact with the world. Many of the beliefs that create suffering operate non-consciously, influencing thoughts, feelings, and actions without us even realizing it.

1. “I Need to Control Everything to Be Okay.”

The phrase "Get out of your own way" means that you're stopping yourself from moving forward by letting your thoughts, fears, or insecurities hold you back. It's like you're blocking yourself from reaching your goals.

To get out of your own way, a person may need to be conscious, recognize and challenge their limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, or self-sabotaging behaviors. This could involve practicing self-awareness, cultivating a growth mindset, seeking support from others(like me a coach), and taking proactive steps towards personal growth and development.

Our well-meaning friends and family may not point out our blind spots because they don't want to hurt our feelings. They agree to do it but don't follow through. In a comfortable relationship, most individuals don't want to rock the boat or cause tension. Isn't everyone just hyper-focused on themselves? On the opposite side, they tell you but it doesn't land (you may make meaning…

There are countless ways in which individuals can greatly improve their mental, emotional, and physical health. Notice how they have a sensory regulation component. We can become more conscious, awake, and feel ourselves when we activate one of our five senses for more than 3 seconds. (sight, smell, taste, hearing, feeling)

Below are 15 simple, low-cost (or free) activities that can greatly improve mental, emotional, and physical health any day of the week:

1. Take a Walk in Nature -Fresh air, movement, and natural surroundings reduce stress, boost mood, and improve heart health.

2. Practice Deep Breathing or Meditation -Even 5-10 minutes of deep breathing or mindfulness can lower anxiety, increase focus, and enhance relaxation.

3. Journal Your Thoughts & Gratitude -Writing down what’s on your mind or listing 3 things you’re grateful for can shift your mindset and boost positivity.

It is important to be conscious of who or what is influencing your emotional state, as giving away that power can have significant impacts on your well-being. Take a moment to reflect on whether it is a person, situation, or internal thought pattern that is dictating how you feel.

By recognizing and seeing what of these influence you the most, you can empower yourself to navigate your emotions in a more intentional and healthy way.

Remember, you have the ability to choose how you respond to external stimuli and ultimately hold the power to command your own emotional reactions.

Who or what are you allowing to hold sway over your emotions at this very moment?

If you're living a life where you're blaming people, places, things, situations, and circumstances for how you feel you're likely living a life that feels overwhelming, heavy, isolated, and uncertain... there's a whole different way…

Someone driving on ice and snow with confidence, knowing they have the proper skills to navigate safely through the treacherous conditions, without batting an eye lash?

And

Is someone absolutely terrified, skittish, and reactive, shaking with fear, anxiety, and a high level of tension and stress?

Pure thought. That is it. This applies to any situation or circumstance.

What was your immediate thought? What was your guess?

When you rely on external sources for confidence, happiness, or any other feeling, you're not only a rat on a wheel; you run the risk of losing touch with your true self.

It's important to recognize that there is nothing inherently wrong with you – you are whole and complete just as you are. Happiness or other positive feelings cannot be found through external means; it must come from within. Your feelings come from you. We are like a powerplant our energy is created inside of us.

Once you truly grasp this concept on a deep, visceral level, rather than just intellectually agreeing with it, you will begin to see the world in a whole new light.

Embrace your inner strength and self-worth, and you will find the confidence and happiness you seek.

Continue this dialog, what stands out? What questions do you have? Do you have an example of…

What if your frustration isn't solely a result of the circumstances you find yourself in, but rather a product of your own inner resistance to accepting and adapting to what is currently unfolding in your life?

Resistance is often deep thoughts that are in your non-conscious mind. We can hear it, if we slow down, get silent and ask ourselves insightful questions. The key is being open and willing to hear what you might not want to hear.

Resistance can manifest in many forms, such as procrastination, self-doubt, or fear of failure. By being open to exploring these underlying thoughts and emotions, we can begin to understand the root causes of our resistance.

Sometimes, our struggles and challenges can feel even more overwhelming when we resist them, rather than approaching them with a sense of openness and willingness to learn and grow from the experience.

By acknowledging and releasing our…

Bingo and you'll lose yourself in the process. I see this a lot with first responders, nurses, teachers and stay at home mothers..

When we spend years, decades serving and putting others first we lose grip with our own values, principles, likes, desires and goals.. doesn't have to be this way.. it happens naturally unknowingly.

If you are constantly preoccupied with concerns about how others perceive you, it can inhibit your ability to freely express yourself and tap into your creative potential. When you allow fear of judgment to dictate your actions, you may find yourself holding back and not fully embracing your unique ideas and talents. It is important to remember that true creativity often comes from a place of authenticity and self-expression, without being overly influenced by external opinions. By letting go of the need for approval from others, you can unlock your creativity and bring forth truly…

Taking back your power and focusing on one trigger at a time and healing what causes you stress and anxiety, you will notice a gradual sense of calmness washing over you.

Each trigger that you address and overcome brings you closer to a state of inner peace and tranquility.(or insert other words to describe how you want to feel)

By acknowledging and working through these triggers, you are taking proactive steps towards improving your emotional well-being and achieving a greater sense of overall calmness in your life.

Remember that healing is a process, and with each trigger you heal, you are one step closer to a more serene and balanced state of mind.

Reacting is a natural response that we all experience from time to time. Ultimately it's learning to slow down and respond instead of react.

By taking the time to reflect on our values, morals, and principles before responding to a situation, we are able to act in a way that aligns with our beliefs. This not only helps us avoid making mistakes it also prevents us from overriding our morals and principles.

It is through consciousness, self-awareness, and intentional actions that we can increase emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is a skill that will uplevel every aspect of your life.

By taking that pause and reflecting on how our values align with the situation at hand, we are able to make more thoughtful and intentional decisions. This not only benefits ourselves, but also those around us as…

It is important to understand that the choices we make in life ultimately define who we are. (note our Our thoughts do not determine who we are.

It is important to fully take responsibility for our actions, regardless of the outcome. If we take action and make an error, own the mistake and learn from it, declare it by being honest. By acknowledging our mistakes and taking responsibility, we can grow and improve as individuals. We build trust and authenticity as a result with ourselves and others.

Blaming others or making excuses only hinders our personal development and prevents us from moving forward. It is essential to be accountable for our actions in order to build trust and integrity with others.

By recognizing our own agency, we empower ourselves to take control of our destiny and shape our future.

Remember, every decision we make, or choose not to make, has…

 "You are making me angry", the focus is on blaming the other person for causing you to be anger, implying a direct cause-and-effect on you, injecting feelings of anger into you. (not at all possible unless you give them that power over you, and I bet you're doing this in other areas of your life)

"Right now I feel angry because I am not getting what I want" this statement takes a more introspective approach by acknowledging the individuals feelings and points to the real reason they are angry. This is ownership, this is taking responsibility for one's feelings by having the consciousness and willingness to be vulnerable and state what the real truth is. When doing this a person can start to see what's creating a negative experience in the moment and take action from what's within their control. Notice they are not blaming anyone. They are not complaining…

Taking ownership of your actions and decisions is a powerful and empowering choice that can lead to personal growth and freedom.

Logically all of you will shake your head and agree. Do you deeply understand what this means or requires?

It requires learning to be present, observing your life, and using your brain and mind to work for you rather than coasting through life on cruise control. Reacting, and letting your old patterns, habits, cycles and behaviors though well meaning drive the ship.

When we accept responsibility for our choices, we free ourselves from the trap of blame and victimhood. We free ourselves from feeling pushed around by life, and we begin to see what opportunities are before us.

By shifting the focus from pointing fingers at anything outside us (people, places, things, situations and circumstances) to looking inward and reflecting on our own thoughts, feelings and actions that are…

Transitioning into a more observational role in life requires an intentional conscious effort to pause and reflect before reacting impulsively to situations or intrusive thoughts(any thoughts that are conditioned).

By taking a step back and observing the world around you, you can gain a deeper understanding and witness your own thoughts and emotions, seeing clearer and clearer you're the creator of your reality.

This shift in perspective allows you to approach any of life's happenings with a sense of calm, clarity, information, and a sense of control rather than being driven by immediate reactions.

Practicing being more and more present and conscious can help you develop the skills needed to navigate life with a more observant mindset. By cultivating a habit of reflection and introspection, you can learn to respond thoughtfully to situations, rather than simply reacting in the heat of the moment. Like anything it takes practice, so start…

Are you taking the time to pause and reflect on the way you are reacting to life's ups and downs? (Even in the heat of the moment.)

It's important to consider if your responses are truly aligned with the reality of the situation or if they are being influenced by your current state of mind.(how much sleep you got the nights before, if you're hangry, if you have a headache, if you're grieving, if you're in pain, if you're upset about something)

By being mindful of your mindset and what if any power you have to nudge it in any direction it will impact your reactions, you can work towards approaching life with a clearer perspective and more balanced responses.

• Are you awake to life, or are you coasting on autopilot?

• How much of the days and weeks in the recent past do you recall?

Our perception (all thought) shapes the way we experience the world around us on a daily basis, directly effecting our emotions, nervous system and actions.

It is important to recognize that our perception (thoughts) is not always an accurate reflection of reality, as it can be influenced by our past experiences, beliefs, and biases. By being more conscious of the perceptions (thoughts, beliefs, blind spots) we hold, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and others, and make more informed decisions in our lives. Truthfully act from our values, morals and principles.

Ultimately, our thoughts are what shape our reality, so it is essential to approach it with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to challenge and expand our perspectives.

When you feel stuck, it can be helpful to consider that the obstacle may not be external, but rather the way in which you are interpreting the situation(thoughts).

Sometimes our mind and perspective can greatly impact how we perceive challenges and setbacks. By shifting our thoughts and considering alternative interpretations, we may be able to see opportunities for growth and progress where we once saw roadblocks. Ultimately, the way we choose to interpret our circumstances can have a significant impact on our ability to overcome obstacles and move forward.

When you are not triggered by your family members, you are able to find peace within yourself.

Mothers, Fathers, Brothers, Sisters, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Grandparent.. when you're able to spend a solid 2 weeks with any one of them on an island and be a peace.. you know you're healed.

Remember no one can make you feel angry, upset.. mad..it is all within your mind.

By maintaining a sense of calm and emotional regulation, you can navigate through conflicts and disagreements with a greater sense of understanding and compassion. This in turn strengthens your relationships and fosters a deeper connection, bonds and memories with your family members.

We have all encountered individuals who seem to be in a constant state of complaining, blaming and negativity. Their constant moaning and groaning can be quite draining, not just for themselves but for those around them as well. It's like a contagious virus that spreads negativity wherever it goes.

What many fail to realize is that by constantly blaming external factors for their unhappiness, they are giving up their power to those very things they blame. It's a cycle that can be difficult to break, especially when one is unaware of how often they engage in this behavior.

During coaching sessions with brand new clients, I often hear this pattern of blaming and complaining emerge. It's eye-opening for them to realize just how frequently they engage in this behavior without even realizing it. This lack of awareness can be a major invisible roadblock to personal growth and happiness.

That's where…

At any given moment, you have the power to transform your life for the better by simply making a single positive choice. It only takes one decision to set yourself on a path towards a more fulfilling and meaningful existence. Every choice you make has the potential to shape your future and lead you towards a brighter and more prosperous life.

How are you becoming more present in your daily life and decisions?