Is Your Ego Controlling You?

Choose to be at peace.

Do you find yourself easily getting offended, overanalyzing situations, or taking things personally? It's important to recognize that letting small things, like other people's words or actions, upset you is not worth it. When you allow yourself to be affected by these insignificant matters, you are essentially giving away your power and allowing others to control your emotions. You're the puppet and they are your puppet master. This only serves to reinforce negative ego behavior and can hinder your personal growth and well-being. Instead, focus on staying grounded and not letting external factors dictate how you feel about yourself, choose to be at peace (or insert other positive feelings). Remember, you are in control of your own emotions and reactions, no one else is.

Seeking for things externally to solve your "problems" is looking in the wrong direction. Seek peace internally, and your whole experience of life will shift.

Behaving as though you are superior.

Acting as if you are better than others can be harmful not just to your interactions with others, but also to your own development. It's important to remember that if you hold any sort of leadership role, which you likely do in some area of your life, leadership isn't about being better than others. Rather, it's about continuously striving to become better than your past self. True leadership involves self-awareness, consciousness, emotional intelligence, and a willingness to learn and grow. By focusing on self-improvement rather than comparison to others, you can inspire and empower those around you to do the same.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

You are not your achievements.

It's important to remember that life is full of ups and downs, wins and losses. It's not about always coming out on top, but rather about the journey and the lessons learned along the way. Just like climbing a mountain it's not about reaching the top it's about enjoying what you see and experience along the trail to the top. Never be defined or determined by external measures such as rankings, comparisons or placements. True success comes from within, from the growth and development you experience as you navigate through challenges and setbacks. Embrace the process, embrace the journey.

Who you are is more important than any award or trophy sitting in your attic.

Release the need for control.

Accept what you can not control. It is important to be conscious, aware and acknowledge and accept the things in life that are beyond our control. By recognizing and embracing the limitations of our power, we can free ourselves from unnecessary stress and anxiety. Instead of resisting or fighting against circumstances that we cannot change, we can choose to focus our valuable energy on areas where we can make a difference, and on things that bring us fulfillment, meaning, and purpose. Embracing acceptance allows us to find peace and contentment in the midst of life's uncertainties. It is a powerful tool that can help us navigate challenges with grace and resilience. Remember to accept what you can not control and trust that everything will work out in the end.

Be a dictator in your life instead of a reactor

You're not always right.

Let go of the need to always be right. It's important to recognize that being right all the time is not a realistic expectation. No one is perfect, and it's okay to make mistakes or be wrong sometimes. Embracing humility and being open to the possibility of being wrong can actually lead to growth and learning. So, instead of always trying to prove yourself right, see how others could be 1% or more right. Gain new perspectives, and drop rigid beliefs and break down walls that make it difficult to relate to you. This willingness to let go of the need to always be right can lead to more meaningful connections with others and a greater sense of self-awareness.

The only limits are the ones we place on ourselves.

Know when to stop.

The ego is a hungry monster it is never satisfied. The ego may resemble a ravenous beast, always in search of validation and acknowledgment. It seems insatiable, always craving more attention and approval. This isn't obvious to it's owner, and those around them won't point it out. The ego's never-ending cycle of seeking fulfillment through external sources, yet never finding true satisfaction. Despite its relentless pursuit, the ego is ultimately left feeling empty and unfulfilled, constantly chasing after an unattainable ideal. If you're awake, aware, conscious, and have someone on your team that you have a healthy, deep, trusting relationship with, and I am not talking about family or friends, I am talking about someone like me, a life coach, to bring attention to what's really holding you back. It could very well be your ego.

The wise person doesn't allow their ego to control their actions; they listen and learn from others." – Epictetus

Here are some introspective coaching questions to help determine whether ego is influencing your actions and decisions in your life:

  • Do I seek validation and or approval from others in my personal or professional life? (driven to impress or feel valuable or important)
  • Do you ever feel defensive or threatened when someone doesn't like an idea you present in your personal or professional life? (How do you handle feedback, judgments, or constrictive criticism? Do you protect or defend yourself?)
  • Do you focus a lot of energy on proving yourself and are mostly interested in being right?
  • Do you pour a lot of energy into needing to be seen as special, unique, or superior? (Wanting to stand out for the sake of recognition to boost your worthiness)
  • Is there a reluctancy to ask for help or admit that you made an error or a mistake? (ego will prevent us at all costs to being vulnerable, hindering connection and relating to one another)
  • Is your worth tied directly to your title, achievements, possessions or amount of money you make? (this is no longer SELF-worth)
  • Do you find yourself frequently comparing and contrasting yourself to others in your professional and or personal life? (measuring your success, appearance, status against others)
  • Last but not least, do you focus a lot on controlling and resisting things that are changing? (consider whether you often feel uncomfortable with uncertainty or want things to go your way at all costs.)

Perhaps none of these situations resonate with you, but as you read this, someone you know may come to mind who struggles deeply with their inner ego. It can be a challenging way to live, constantly battling against a brutal ego that dictates and demands things to be a certain way. It's important to show compassion towards them, as they may not even realize the extent of their struggles. If they ever open up and seek advice or support, consider recommending someone like me to be their thinking partner and help them work through their thoughts, using thought work. With an easy understanding of how the mind, thought and consciousness work and the right tools, they can learn to detach from their ego and navigate away from its brutality and live a life of peace.

Take courageous action today to create the future you desire and deserve. 

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