Submitted Request..
This post is an answer to a submitted question. It aims to provide help and solutions to overcome the issue.
Podcast version: HERE
Quote: “Doing nothing keeps you unmotivated.”
Adding to the quote:
Not taking any steps towards your goals will ultimately leave you feeling even more unmotivated, uninspired, incapable, sad, isolated, and disappointed. The smallest actions towards your goals can make a significant difference in your progress. What's 1% a day? Doing 17 minutes a day is 100 hours in a year. What can you do in 100 hours? A lot! You could learn how to play an instrument, probably! Being intentional each day and taking proactive steps to avoid the trap of doing nothing at all. By consistently taking small steps forward, you can maintain a sense of momentum and keep yourself motivated to continue working towards your aspirations. Remember, every action, no matter how small, contributes to your overall success.
Submitted Question:
“I can't bring myself to try to lose weight because it's too slow. I have a problem with how long something might take. I'm around 300 lbs, and no matter how motivated or excited I am to try to lose weight, I immediately lose all of that when I find out that it will take a year or two before I actually look different. I'm not interested in one of those miracle diets, so I don't know what to do or how to stay motivated with the knowledge that I'm not going to change for a year."
My Response if we were in a coaching setting. Although without being able to ask questions, I may assume or use scenarios to fill in the gaps.
That’s a really tough place to be.
We feel thoughts we believe and become attached to.
In order to truly build your self-confidence and worth, it is important to take things slow and steady. I know we live in a world now that if it doesn’t drop in our lap on the same business day we aren’t happy.
By taking one super duper small step at a time (can be anything) and then repeating that process, you can gradually establish a routine that works for you. This also helps pivot your identity and prevent the ego from getting aroused by too much change too fast. Creating tiny, small habits each day will not only help you build consistency, but it will also provide you with evidence and proof that you are capable of achieving your goals. Remember, every small success counts as points towards your overall growth and development. So keep showing up, keep being consistent, and watch as your self-trust, self-confidence and worthiness continue to flourish.
Story time!
Imagine if I promised to walk with you every single day, meeting you outside your house. However, if I didn't show up on day one, then day two, and continued to disappoint you for 10 consecutive days, would you trust me? Most likely not. The same applies to ourselves. When we make commitments to work out every day but end up doing something else instead, we erode the trust within ourselves. Rebuilding that trust requires setting realistic and attainable goals each day, so that we can show up for ourselves even on our toughest days.
By focusing on managing our energy effectively and setting achievable goals, we can create a sense of accountability and trust within ourselves. This approach allows us to consistently show up for ourselves and make progress towards our goals, even when faced with challenges. So, it's not just about managing our time, but also about understanding and optimizing our energy to maximize our potential.
So starting off stupid small is the key! The key to building habits and trust in yourself is to make the starting goal really easy and small. By setting a goal that is easily achievable, you can provide yourself with evidence, a string of proof to show your brain, mind and ego that it does feel good, fun, and easy (insert your own words here how you want to feel). This will help build that self trust and confidence in your abilities.
Stop being in love with your limitations.
By thinking and believing that you can’t bring yourself to try and lose weight, and that it will be slow, your brain, your mind and ego will prevent you from even starting. The stories and thoughts that you’re clinging to and believing will either stop you in your tracks or light your heart on fire. Notice how you feel when you wrote this in, that it’s going to be too slow, that it will be years of hard work etc. You have the knowledge, it’s not about the logical bit anymore it’s now about proving to yourself that you can, showing up and being proud of yourself.
Our emotions do not come from the situation. They come from how we THINK about the situation.
The longer you sit and wait and gather proof and evidence this is going to take forever and be dreadful the deeper you’re getting attached to this story and belief. The stronger the feelings will be that this situation has you trapped and there’s no solution. This isn’t true. No thought is true.
I recommend starting with a 30-day challenge, where you commit to start, again on something super crazy small. After completing the 30 days, you can then up the ante by increasing the time, distance, commitment, etc. just a bit. Or adding or stacking on a new habit/goal. By stretching yourself bit by bit, you can continue to build on your progress and push yourself to achieve even more. Get someone that deeply cares about you to hold you accountable, to check in with and cheer you on.
Remember, it's all about starting small and building momentum. AND the mindset, the stories you're believing and making up each day thinking, preparing, getting ready to do the action steps to doing what you set out to do. By taking small steps and gradually increasing the difficulty, you can create lasting habits and achieve your goals.
Before taking on a big commitment, losing 20, 30, 40, 50, 100 pounds gather as much proof and evidence that you are capable and strong. And how you lose the weight is how you have to keep it off. In my opinion. So those that do dreadful awful painful diets, what are you going to do when you reach your goal weight? Your metabolism and body will adapt and shift to that way of eating.
A year will go by before you know it and you'll either be filled with joy or regret. Choose wisely.
What does motivation mean for you?
Motivation is a feeling. Do you know where all your feelings come from?
Your thoughts, your stories, your beliefs, the things that fill your mind. This is why it's so imperative to guard your mental and emotional state of mind. Things we consume can either fill our mind with self empowerment or self destructive thoughts that turn into a good or bad feeling. Staying idle can lead to feelings of stagnation, hopelessness, not worthiness, lack of motivation, and more. By being intentional each day, staying focused on how you want to feel and what actions will fuel this feeling that brings you joy and fulfillment doing what is uniquely beneficial to you and your values will naturally occur without white knuckling through what perhaps a drill Sergeant would suggest you "should do".
You get more of what you focus on, focus on what you want more of in your life.
Our thoughts and beliefs have a powerful impact on our lives, shaping our attitudes, emotions, and actions. When we embrace positive thoughts and beliefs, our hearts are set ablaze with passion, motivation, and inspiration. On the other hand, negative thoughts and beliefs can hold us back, trapping us in a cycle of doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs.
It is important to notice, become super curious, and aware of your thoughts and beliefs. This is becoming conscious of what sparks your behaviors. Naturally, we humans repeat patterns because we are glued to a belief that is conscious or nonconscious.
The thoughts we choose to hold onto, believe in, and constantly repeat to ourselves in our thoughts or statements(like hypnosis) have a profound impact on the direction of our lives. These thoughts have the power to either propel us towards our goals and dreams, or they can keep us stagnant and stuck in a cycle, habit loop, comfort zone, self-doubt and feeling unfulfilled. It is important to notice the thoughts we allow to take root in our minds, as they ultimately shape our beliefs, actions, and ultimately our reality. By choosing to focus on empowering thoughts, we can cultivate a mindset that supports our growth and success. Often people that can't seem to break a pattern have a tendency to think disempowering thoughts.
Remember, you have the power to choose your thoughts and change your life. Take back your power, remove the shackles and limitations that your automatic thoughts have created, and train your brain to work for you, not against you. You are not your thoughts, and thoughts aren't facts.
I hope this helps.
I wish you all the best.
Please share this with anyone you believe would benefit from the insights. Post a comment, I read and reply to them all. Thank you in advance!
If you want to send a question, please send to hello@katherine-hood.com please include:
- A coachable question (something that addresses what's in your control, your thoughts, feelings or actions.)
- And context, explain a situation in the past, currently going through, or worries/concerns of the future, giving me some details on your thoughts and feelings about it.